Noise: 6 Steps to Maintain Focus and Get Things Done!  

Hey there, it's BRE, your host from the Monster in My Head Show, where we dive into real conversations about insecurities and issues we all face, as well as discuss unique ways to overcome them. Today's episode is a bit different. It's just you and me, having a chat about something I'm genuinely passionate about – overcoming the noise to enhance focus.

Before we dive in, I want to mention that this episode was inspired by my latest song, "Noise," from the album Playing With Power, which you can check out here, along with the music video attached below. Now, let's get started with a few tips and tricks that have significantly improved my ability to focus.

 

Tip 1: Set a Strong Morning Routine:

  • Start your day in a way that sets the stage for grounded and sustainable focus.
  • Avoid immediately diving into your phone and social media - beginning your day with scrolling will train your brain to maintain that level of scattered focus for the rest of the day.
  • Dedicate time in the morning for activities like meditation, yoga, and a slow breakfast to set a positive tone for the day.
  • Tailor your morning routine to what makes you feel good and sets you up for success.

Tip 2: Prioritize What Matters Most:

  • Take this example a college professor used for her class. She put a vase on a desk, and next to it put big rocks, small rocks, and sand. She asked the students how to fit everything in the vase. Every way they tried did not work until they put the big rocks in first, then the small, and then put in the sand.
  • Identify and prioritize what your big rocks are. What are the most important things for you to get done? Do those first, or at least carve out a very set period of time each day to make sure those get done.
  • The fill your time with the small rocks and sand.
  • Starting with what matters most can set a positive momentum for the rest of your day.

Tip 3: Avoid Distractions and Maintain Flow:

  • Be mindful of habitual phone-checking, especially in the morning, as it can break your flow.
  • Identify bad habits you've developed that pull your attention away from your task at hand and be mindful to not do those things as you work on your bigs rocks.
  • Turn off or limit social media during focused work periods to enhance concentration.

Tip 4: Set Small Goals for Momentum:

  • Start your day by creating a list of small, achievable goals, especially on days when motivation is low.
  • Crossing off simple tasks builds momentum for tackling larger, more challenging goals.
  • This isn't something you have to do every day, but it's especially helpful when the thought of accomplishing any big tasks feels overwhelming.
  • Building momentum allows you to feel more prepared to tackle the big things later on!

Tip 5: Reward Yourself for Achievements:

  • Acknowledge and reward yourself for completing tasks, especially the ones you didn't want to do.
  • For example, I hate going to the grocery store, but I have to buy food so I don't starve. So whenever I go, I tell myself that I can pick up a small smoothie while I'm there. That motivates me and makes me feel excited to do something I normally don't like doing.
  • Small rewards can motivate you to tackle less enjoyable tasks.

Tip 6: Take Care of Yourself:

  • Recognize the importance of breaks and self-care to avoid burnout.
  • Schedule breaks throughout the day to maintain focus and prevent exhaustion.
  • Regular maintenance is crucial for sustained focus over the long run.

These tips might seem basic, but they've made a significant difference in my life. They've helped me cut through the noise, focus better, and achieve my goals. I hope they can do the same for you.

If you're curious about the song that inspired this episode, "Noise," you can listen to it here or watch the video below. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.

Watch the music video and learn all about the song ‘Noise’ here: https://bremusicpage.com/noise

Playing With Power: 8 Steps to Take Back Power in Your Life 

Welcome to the Monster in My Head Show, a podcast where real people discuss genuine insecurities and challenges, exploring unique ways to overcome them. I'm BRE, your host, and today is a special episode. Instead of interviewing a guest, I'll be talking directly to you about a topic I'm passionate about—taking back power in your life.

Before we dive in, I want to share that this episode is inspired by my album release, “Playing With Power” which you can listen to here. This album explores themes of growth and overcoming trauma, and is what has inspired this entire series.

Now, let's explore the eight transformative tips for taking control of your life.


1. Cultivating Love for Yourself

At my lowest point, I struggled with depression and feelings of failure. I didn't feel like I could change my life because I didn't feel worthy of the effort it would take to change it. The key to breaking out of this mindset for me was cultivating a deep love for myself, to where I felt motivated to change because I cared too much about myself to let myself stay stuck. Motivation rooted in self-love is more sustainable than shame or guilt. If you're not there yet, that's okay; start by working on loving yourself, as it lays the foundation for further growth.

 

2. Identify Broken Areas and Their Roots

To initiate change, pinpoint the broken aspects of your life and understand why they exist. After much self reflection, I realized my feelings of failure were inspired by the childhood pressures and verbal abuse I experienced. I realized that I had grown up feeling a certain way about myself, which bled into the view of myself as an adult that made it feel true even if it wasn't. Once I identified the root cause, I was able to begin addressing the core issue in therapy rather than trying to deal with the symptom of the issue, which was feelings of failure. This helped pave the way for significant changes, where I started un-working this negative view of myself, which then led to behavioral changes.

 

3. Set Achievable Goals

Creating manageable goals within your control is crucial for building momentum. As I started working my way out of feelings of failure, I started by establishing internal goals, like changing negative self-talk, which fueled my motivation. It was important for me to set goals I had complete control over, so nothing on the outside would prevent me from being successful. I was in control of my success. Once I did this enough to where my internal world stabilized, I expanded to external goals. Setting achievable goals, especially in the beginning of this journey will allow you to develop the momentum you need to get yourself out of the rut you're in.

 

4. Embrace the Messy Process

Embarking on significant life changes is messy. You will not do this perfectly because there's no perfect way to heal and grow. You will make progress, and then you'll fall back into bad habits. All that matters is you keep going. Therapy was vital for me when it came to working through my problems because it gave me a safe place to release my pain. Recognize that this will not be easy and it will not be pretty most of the time.  Grant yourself grace during this transformative journey, understanding that imperfection is inherent in the process of healing and growth.

 

5. Don't Let Mistakes Derail You

Accept that mistakes are part of the messy process. Whether in addiction recovery or personal development, slip-ups happen. Cultivate awareness, acknowledge your missteps, and forge ahead. Learn from mistakes without letting them derail your progress. One mistake does not define your journey in healing. It's how you recover, learn, and grow from those mistakes that do.

 

6. Change Your Mindset: Find Excitement in the Process

Approach life changes with excitement, viewing them as opportunities rather than obligations. I shifted my mindset from feeling compelled to change to recognizing the honor of sculpting my best self. I challenged myself to envision what it would look like to be the best version of myself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I then established a sense of purpose to aim for that vision I created for myself. Have a vision and purpose in your growth is crucial for maintaining motivation, especially during challenging times. Ask yourself: what am I working towards?

 

7. Surround Yourself with a Positive Community

The people around you influence your journey. Choose to be around those who inspire, encourage, and hold you accountable. Eliminate toxic influences that hinder your growth. When examining your relationships, ask yourself: Does this person inspire me to grow and be better, or remain stagnant? Be brutal in your examination and cut ties from people who hold you back. I know for myself, as I cut out negative relationships, new, positive connections emerged out of the blue. Now I am able to surround myself with people who inspire me and encourage my growth, just as I encourage theirs. 

 

8. Cultivate Gratefulness

Making big changes in your life can be really hard and really scary. But practicing gratefulness in the process will help make less overwhelming, and will provide you with a sense of hope through the pruning process. Focus on the positives, no matter how small. Write them down. Meditate on them. What are you grateful for today, even if it's the bed you're laying on that you can't get out of. Gratitude helps shift your perspective, making the journey more bearable. Recognize the gift of life and the opportunity to evolve into your best self.


Conclusion

In conclusion, remember that things do get better. Personal growth is an ongoing process, but with commitment and self-love, you can overcome anything. If you're going through a tough time, know that you're not alone, and there's hope on the other side. Life is for you, and you have the power to shape your reality.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. If you're interested in exploring more about my experiences and insights, check out my album, “Playing With Power.” Remember, you are loved, cared for, and worth the effort it takes to reach your desired destination. Stay strong, and I'll see you next week.

Watch the music video, listen to the album, and learn all about ‘Playing With Power’ here: https://bremusicpage.com/playing-with-power

Rough Lovin': 5 Steps to Set Healthy Boundaries When Dating  

Hey there, folks! Welcome to another episode of the Monster in My Head Show. I'm BRE, and today, I'm thrilled to announce the release of my song, Rough Lovin' which is all about enthusiastic consent in dating relationships/hookups (You can check it out here!). But before we dive into that, let's talk about the inspiration behind this track, which is all about how to create and maintain healthy boundaries for yourself in dating.

In my personal journey, developing and sustaining boundaries in my intimate relationships has been transformative. Having experienced sexual assault as a teenager, the thought of creating and communicating healthy boundaries was foreign to me and felt damn near impossible. But after years of therapy and self reflection, it's now one of my strengths! The things I share below are applicable to everyone, regardless of gender identity. Enthusiastic consent and boundary-setting are universal and essential for us all.

Without further ado, here are 5 steps you can take to develop and sustain healthy boundaries while you're dating.

1. Believe in Your Worthiness:

  • Many times we allow people to treat us however they want because we don't believe we deserve more.
  • The first step in setting healthy boundaries is to cultivate the love yourself that will allow you to believe you are worthy of those boundaries.
  • If you recognize that you are a people pleaser and don't want to set boundaries because you feel you'll disappoint the person you're seeing, remind yourself that you are one half of the intimate experience - your feelings matter just as much as theirs!
  • Try taking care of yourself in the same way you would take care of someone you love. How would you want your best friend to be treated in an intimate relationship? Enforce that for yourself.

2. Communicate Openly:

  • Be overly communicative about your comfort level from the get go.
  • If there are things you don't feel comfortable with, let the person know explicitly, preferably before it starts happening, but also at any time that discomfort arises.
  • In a perfect world, the person you're with would actively read your body language and make decisions on how to interact with you based on that.
  • However, this tends to be the exception, not the norm. We can't expect someone to read our minds, and will sometimes be dealing with people who don't want to be told no.
  • Be very clear with what you are and are not ok with. If they don't like it, they're not right for you.

3. Don't Fear Hurting Feelings:

  • Prioritize your well-being over potential discomfort for others.
  • Someone who has good moral character will respect you for standing up for yourself when you feel uncomfortable.
  • You are responsible for your feelings. Therefore, it is your job to take care of yourself, doing what you need to do to be healthy and safe.
  • If the person you're with gets their feelings hurt by your honesty and boundary setting, that's their problem, not yours.

4. Recognize Manipulation:

  • If someone tries to manipulate, guilt, or pressure you into doing things you don't want to do, leave. This is a strong indicator of their character and shows quickly that they're not worth your time.
  • If someone refuses to comply with your requests to help take care of your safety and health while being intimate, such as using protection or getting tested, they don't respect you, and therefor shouldn't get the pleasure of your company.
  • Your safety and comfort are non-negotiable and are the top priority throughout your experience. Period.

5. No Shame in Your Journey:

  • Regardless of your experience with intimacy, there's no shame.
  • Society tells us we have to experience certain things by certain times, but all of our stories are different.
  • Some people need to take things slower than others due to trauma, anxiety, or just the desire to take things slow. All needs are valid and totally ok.
  • Your journey is as unique as you are. The main thing to do is just take care of yourself in the process!

Conclusion and Song Release: I hope these insights are helpful. Feel free to share your tips and stories in the comments. Also, don't forget to check out my new song, "Rough Lovin'," which encapsulates the power of enthusiastic consent. It's part of my album release, and I'll be discussing the meaning behind each song in future episodes.

Remember, you are valuable, deserving of love, and worthy of respect. Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next week!

Listen to Rough Lovin' here: https://ffm.to/rough-lovin

Watch the music video and learn all about the song: https://bremusicpage.com/rough-lovin

Choose to Believe: 6 Steps to Overcome Dating Anxiety 

Welcome to the Monster in My Head Show, where we delve into real insecurities and issues many of us face. I'm BRE, your host, and today's special episode addresses a topic close to my heart—overcoming dating anxiety. This discussion is inspired by my new song, "Choose to Believe," which explores getting back into the dating world after heartbreak. You can check out the song here.

Navigating the complexities of dating anxiety has been an ongoing journey for me, and though I don't have all the answers, I've gathered insights that might resonate with you. So if you struggle with fear around dating and relationships due to bad past experiences (or lack of experience), this is the article for you! Let's dive in:

1.Recognize That Dating Anxiety is Common:

  • Thriveworks reports that the vast majority of people (77%) say that their negative experiences with past partners have influenced the way they show up for present-day and future relationships.
  • Almost all of us have baggage that causes fear and anxiety when instigating or entering new dating relationships.
  • The modern dating landscape offers unique challenges that many of us recognize, making it very difficult to be vulnerable.
  • Understand that your anxiety is not a unique experience. Most likely the person you're approaching has it too.
  • Fears around beginning the dating process is a shared struggle, and awkward moments are part of the process. Have grace for yourself!

2.Give People the Benefit of the Doubt:

  • As long as you approach someone with respect, assume that the person you'd like to talk to is not actively going to be an asshole.
  • Giving someone the benefit of the doubt when you start casual conversations will cause you to treat them in a way that will encourage good behavior in them.
  • Understand that most people are kind and not out to be dismissive.

3.Desensitize Yourself to Rejection:

  • Overcome the fear of rejection by realizing it doesn't define your worth.
  • Understand that a rejection in the very beginning of getting to know someone often reflects compatibility issues rather than personal shortcomings (And if there's something continually going wrong that you realize you need to work on, join the club!).
  • Do your best to desensitize yourself to rejection in order to make yourself more comfortable approaching people without knowing what the outcome will be.

4.Be Your Authentic Self From the Beginning:

  • Embrace being yourself in dating situations.
  • Avoid molding yourself to fit perceived expectations, as true sustainability comes from being genuine.
  • Though you may have more options in the beginning by trying to become what others may ‘want’ of you, long term potential comes from being your true and authentic self from the beginning, and letting that weed out the people who may not be compatible with that.
  • Additionally, people can sniff out inauthenticity. The more you are yourself, the more you will attract the right people to you.

5.Take the Pressure Off for a Time:

  • If you struggle with feeling pressure to find ‘the one’ when you date, take a year and view it as dating practice.
  • Designate that year to be dedicated to learning how to be a better dater rather than finding ‘the one’
  • This will allow you to show up in whatever relationships you come across more relaxed, more curious, and less attached to the results, which is in turn attractive!
  • Shift the focus from a specific outcome to enjoying interactions and gaining valuable insights.

6.Take It as Slow as You Need:

  • Embrace vulnerability at your own pace.
  • It's ok to take things slow with someone, both emotionally and physically, to get to know them.
  • Prioritize personal comfort and openness, allowing a deeper connection to develop naturally.

Conclusion:

Dating anxiety is a shared experience, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. As we navigate the complex world of dating, remember that being authentic and embracing vulnerability at your own pace can lead to more meaningful connections. I'm still on this journey myself, and I hope these insights help you feel less alone in your experiences.

Hopefully these tips have been helpful for you - feel free to listen to the entire episode below, and don't forget to stream ‘Choose to Believe’!

Listen to ‘Choose to Believe’ here: https://ffm.to/choose-to-believe

Watch the music video and learn more about the song: https://bremusicpage.com/choose-to-believe

Monster in Your Head: 5 Ways to Overcome the Inner Critic 

Hey there, folks! Welcome to another episode of the Monster in My Head Show. I'm BRE, and today, I'm thrilled to announce the release of my song, Monster in My Head, which you can listen to here.

But before we dive into that, let's talk about the inspiration behind this track, which is all about how to conquer the monster in our minds.

The Monster in My Head is all about grappling with the inner voice that constantly berates you, labeling you as a failure, not good enough, or generally highlighting your shortcomings. It's that relentless voice that can make life feel like an inescapable nightmare. I wanted to share a few tools I have developed over the years that has helped me overcome this voice in case they are helpful for you!

 

 

Five Tips to Overcome the Monster in Your Head

 

1.Deal With Your Self-Talk

  • When you're dealing with an overly self criticizing inner voice, try to imagine yourself as the child you used to be 
  • Challenge the negative inner voice by asking if you would say those things to your younger self, and if what it's saying has any basis of truth for that child
  • If the answer is no, discard the words of the inner voice, look at each point it was trying to make, and speak truth instead. What would you say to that child in this situation?
     

This will help you treat yourself with more kindness, recognizing when your thoughts are coming from the self critic or from your true self.

2. Change Your Definition of Success

  • Redefine success in a way that focuses on internal growth rather than external achievements.
  • Make sure your goals are centered on things you can control, such as:
    • How much you can learn
    • Controlling your actions
    • Regulating your self talk
  • Once you start feeling successful internally, you can then set external goals from a place of abundance rather than desperation

Operating in this way will allow you to have lower stakes because no matter what happens outside of you, you will feel successful internally
 

3. Detach Yourself from a Timeline

  • Challenge societal expectations and timelines. WHY do you have to hit certain milestones by certain ages?
  • Understand that everyone's life unfolds at its unique pace. There is no ‘normal’, though our culture likes to tell us there is in order to sell us on products and services to help maintain it.
  • Your life is your life, and whatever pace want it to go at is completely valid
     

By detaching from made up timelines, you can remove the pressure and shame from your shoulders in order to figure out what you actually want and where you want to go.

4. Recognize that Hustle Culture is Bullshit

  • Reject the idea that relentless hard work is the only path to success. People who sell it are usually selling you something.
  • Work to find balance between pursuing goals and taking care of your well-being. A career that drains you of all energy and time to build into other areas of your life is not successful, no matter how much money it makes you.
  • Think about what you hope to see when you look back at your life from your death bed. What are the things that will matter most then? Invest in those things sustainably.
     

Think about what it looks like to prioritize sustainable success in all areas of your life, rather than chasing the carrot of monetary and status-based success to the exclusion of everything else.

5. View Life as an Adventure, Not a Journey

  • Shift the perspective on your life from being one of aiming for the end result of a journey to the joy of exploration in an adventure
  • When you see life as a journey, it can be easy to try to rush through each day to get to your goal, which we always think will make us happy, but rarely does for long
  • An adventure on the other hand is an experience where you take joy in each day and wake up excited to see what will happen next
  • This will allow for a more sustainably joyful life

The idea is to find joy in the process of growth and self-discovery rather than fixating on reaching predetermined destinations.

Hopefully these tips have been helpful for you - feel free to listen to the entire episode below, and don't forget to stream ‘Monster in My Head’!

Listen to ‘Monster In My Head’ : https://ffm.to/monster-in-my-head-bre

Watch the music video and learn more about the song: https://bremusicpage.com/monster-in-my-head

 

Get to Know BRE - Los Angeles Based Alt Rock Artist Who Lights the Stage on Fire 

BRE is an alt-rock artist based out of Los Angeles, California who has a habit of lighting the stage on fire. Seriously, if you have yet to see her live show, you are missing out. To give you a clue of what you can expect at the next show by BRE, below you will find a list of venues she's played along with artists most similar to her style.

Similar artists:

Venues:

Follow BRE on all of her socials to find out where she's performing next!

‘American Idol’: Is Elijah McCormick the New Willie Spence? (RECAP) | TV Insider 

It’s not every day a hopeful gets to jam out alongside the great Lionel Richie on “All Night Long” for your audition, but this 27-year-old dueling pianist did just that. Lionel said he learned more about her voice through the duet and thought she handled it very well. “I just played with Lionel Richie.” Yes, you did Bre! And it may only just be the beginning. Read full article here.

Get the Girls Night Started With BRE’s New Single ‘Rather Be Alone’ | Blaire Magazine 

SZA would rather be dead than be alone, but BRE would just rather be alone, or so she says in her new upbeat, independent single aptly titled “Rather Be Alone.” According to the singer, this single is inspired by the lows of dating. Let’s face it, BRE says it best, “Dating sucks. Dating in LA sucks. Dating in LA in your late twenties/early thirties sucks. That’s the place where ‘Rather Be Alone’ came from. After being f*ckboyed one too many times, I couldn’t help but think to myself, ‘Honestly, I’d rather be alone than deal with this BS!’”

Read the full article here.