Welcome to the Monster in My Head Show, a podcast where real people discuss genuine insecurities and challenges, exploring unique ways to overcome them. I'm BRE, your host, and today is a special episode. Instead of interviewing a guest, I'll be talking directly to you about a topic I'm passionate about—taking back power in your life.
Before we dive in, I want to share that this episode is inspired by my album release, “Playing With Power” which you can listen to here. This album explores themes of growth and overcoming trauma, and is what has inspired this entire series.
Now, let's explore the eight transformative tips for taking control of your life.
1. Cultivating Love for Yourself
At my lowest point, I struggled with depression and feelings of failure. I didn't feel like I could change my life because I didn't feel worthy of the effort it would take to change it. The key to breaking out of this mindset for me was cultivating a deep love for myself, to where I felt motivated to change because I cared too much about myself to let myself stay stuck. Motivation rooted in self-love is more sustainable than shame or guilt. If you're not there yet, that's okay; start by working on loving yourself, as it lays the foundation for further growth.
2. Identify Broken Areas and Their Roots
To initiate change, pinpoint the broken aspects of your life and understand why they exist. After much self reflection, I realized my feelings of failure were inspired by the childhood pressures and verbal abuse I experienced. I realized that I had grown up feeling a certain way about myself, which bled into the view of myself as an adult that made it feel true even if it wasn't. Once I identified the root cause, I was able to begin addressing the core issue in therapy rather than trying to deal with the symptom of the issue, which was feelings of failure. This helped pave the way for significant changes, where I started un-working this negative view of myself, which then led to behavioral changes.
3. Set Achievable Goals
Creating manageable goals within your control is crucial for building momentum. As I started working my way out of feelings of failure, I started by establishing internal goals, like changing negative self-talk, which fueled my motivation. It was important for me to set goals I had complete control over, so nothing on the outside would prevent me from being successful. I was in control of my success. Once I did this enough to where my internal world stabilized, I expanded to external goals. Setting achievable goals, especially in the beginning of this journey will allow you to develop the momentum you need to get yourself out of the rut you're in.
4. Embrace the Messy Process
Embarking on significant life changes is messy. You will not do this perfectly because there's no perfect way to heal and grow. You will make progress, and then you'll fall back into bad habits. All that matters is you keep going. Therapy was vital for me when it came to working through my problems because it gave me a safe place to release my pain. Recognize that this will not be easy and it will not be pretty most of the time. Grant yourself grace during this transformative journey, understanding that imperfection is inherent in the process of healing and growth.
5. Don't Let Mistakes Derail You
Accept that mistakes are part of the messy process. Whether in addiction recovery or personal development, slip-ups happen. Cultivate awareness, acknowledge your missteps, and forge ahead. Learn from mistakes without letting them derail your progress. One mistake does not define your journey in healing. It's how you recover, learn, and grow from those mistakes that do.
6. Change Your Mindset: Find Excitement in the Process
Approach life changes with excitement, viewing them as opportunities rather than obligations. I shifted my mindset from feeling compelled to change to recognizing the honor of sculpting my best self. I challenged myself to envision what it would look like to be the best version of myself mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I then established a sense of purpose to aim for that vision I created for myself. Have a vision and purpose in your growth is crucial for maintaining motivation, especially during challenging times. Ask yourself: what am I working towards?
7. Surround Yourself with a Positive Community
The people around you influence your journey. Choose to be around those who inspire, encourage, and hold you accountable. Eliminate toxic influences that hinder your growth. When examining your relationships, ask yourself: Does this person inspire me to grow and be better, or remain stagnant? Be brutal in your examination and cut ties from people who hold you back. I know for myself, as I cut out negative relationships, new, positive connections emerged out of the blue. Now I am able to surround myself with people who inspire me and encourage my growth, just as I encourage theirs.
8. Cultivate Gratefulness
Making big changes in your life can be really hard and really scary. But practicing gratefulness in the process will help make less overwhelming, and will provide you with a sense of hope through the pruning process. Focus on the positives, no matter how small. Write them down. Meditate on them. What are you grateful for today, even if it's the bed you're laying on that you can't get out of. Gratitude helps shift your perspective, making the journey more bearable. Recognize the gift of life and the opportunity to evolve into your best self.
Conclusion
In conclusion, remember that things do get better. Personal growth is an ongoing process, but with commitment and self-love, you can overcome anything. If you're going through a tough time, know that you're not alone, and there's hope on the other side. Life is for you, and you have the power to shape your reality.
Thank you for joining me on this journey. If you're interested in exploring more about my experiences and insights, check out my album, “Playing With Power.” Remember, you are loved, cared for, and worth the effort it takes to reach your desired destination. Stay strong, and I'll see you next week.
Watch the music video, listen to the album, and learn all about ‘Playing With Power’ here: https://bremusicpage.com/playing-with-power