Welcome to the Monster in My Head Show, where we delve into real insecurities and issues many of us face. I'm BRE, your host, and today's special episode addresses a topic close to my heart—overcoming dating anxiety. This discussion is inspired by my new song, "Choose to Believe," which explores getting back into the dating world after heartbreak. You can check out the song here.
Navigating the complexities of dating anxiety has been an ongoing journey for me, and though I don't have all the answers, I've gathered insights that might resonate with you. So if you struggle with fear around dating and relationships due to bad past experiences (or lack of experience), this is the article for you! Let's dive in:
1.Recognize That Dating Anxiety is Common:
- Thriveworks reports that the vast majority of people (77%) say that their negative experiences with past partners have influenced the way they show up for present-day and future relationships.
- Almost all of us have baggage that causes fear and anxiety when instigating or entering new dating relationships.
- The modern dating landscape offers unique challenges that many of us recognize, making it very difficult to be vulnerable.
- Understand that your anxiety is not a unique experience. Most likely the person you're approaching has it too.
- Fears around beginning the dating process is a shared struggle, and awkward moments are part of the process. Have grace for yourself!
2.Give People the Benefit of the Doubt:
- As long as you approach someone with respect, assume that the person you'd like to talk to is not actively going to be an asshole.
- Giving someone the benefit of the doubt when you start casual conversations will cause you to treat them in a way that will encourage good behavior in them.
- Understand that most people are kind and not out to be dismissive.
3.Desensitize Yourself to Rejection:
- Overcome the fear of rejection by realizing it doesn't define your worth.
- Understand that a rejection in the very beginning of getting to know someone often reflects compatibility issues rather than personal shortcomings (And if there's something continually going wrong that you realize you need to work on, join the club!).
- Do your best to desensitize yourself to rejection in order to make yourself more comfortable approaching people without knowing what the outcome will be.
4.Be Your Authentic Self From the Beginning:
- Embrace being yourself in dating situations.
- Avoid molding yourself to fit perceived expectations, as true sustainability comes from being genuine.
- Though you may have more options in the beginning by trying to become what others may ‘want’ of you, long term potential comes from being your true and authentic self from the beginning, and letting that weed out the people who may not be compatible with that.
- Additionally, people can sniff out inauthenticity. The more you are yourself, the more you will attract the right people to you.
5.Take the Pressure Off for a Time:
- If you struggle with feeling pressure to find ‘the one’ when you date, take a year and view it as dating practice.
- Designate that year to be dedicated to learning how to be a better dater rather than finding ‘the one’
- This will allow you to show up in whatever relationships you come across more relaxed, more curious, and less attached to the results, which is in turn attractive!
- Shift the focus from a specific outcome to enjoying interactions and gaining valuable insights.
6.Take It as Slow as You Need:
- Embrace vulnerability at your own pace.
- It's ok to take things slow with someone, both emotionally and physically, to get to know them.
- Prioritize personal comfort and openness, allowing a deeper connection to develop naturally.
Conclusion:
Dating anxiety is a shared experience, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. As we navigate the complex world of dating, remember that being authentic and embracing vulnerability at your own pace can lead to more meaningful connections. I'm still on this journey myself, and I hope these insights help you feel less alone in your experiences.
Hopefully these tips have been helpful for you - feel free to listen to the entire episode below, and don't forget to stream ‘Choose to Believe’!
Listen to ‘Choose to Believe’ here: https://ffm.to/choose-to-believe
Watch the music video and learn more about the song: https://bremusicpage.com/choose-to-believe